Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows (book)

Critically acclaimed modern literature or potential murder weapon?

Montasir Masrur

Published in 2007, the seventh & final book in a series of novels was one that captured the hearts of millions & is widely recognised as one of the best books of all time. This particular version is published by Bloomsbury as a hardcover, with a beautiful cover showing the the awesome threesome positioned in ways that make them appear significantly more moronic than they appear in any other media.

But this recognition isn't merely for its excellent plot, but of its hidden potential that most may seem to overlook. This is the potential as an offensive/defensive blunt weapon as a result of the books weight combined with the hard, pointed corners. When used properly this can this can easily used to down an opponent larger than yourself. Experiments conducted by DARPA & the CIA has resulted in the discovery suggesting that the pointed corners are especially effective against soft tissues around the face, the eyes, groin (mainly in the case of males) & can be used against the throat with lethal effect. One downside is the damage the book takes as a result of continued use which eventually renders it useless.

The book can serve as a discrete storage  The pages can be easily cut out with an X-ACTO knife in the shape of whatever that needs to be hidden for example wad of emergency cash, sack of 'medical' marijuana, a gun, a second mobile phone & more. However, with items with distinct odors (eg 'brownies'), the natural smell of the book is not enough to neutralise the smell & thus additional precautions must be taken.

The pages are multifunctional with their functions exceeding that of merely acting a medium through which reading can be done. Once torn out, they can serve as quality rolling paper used to create blunts. This paper is not recommended for use as fuel for a fire due to the speed in which they burn. Surprisingly they are fairly absorbent capable of wiping away most liquids with relative ease (eg blood). When it comes to nose blowing they can be very irritating, due to their roughness. The paper in this book is not compatible with the needs of compulsive paper eaters, as tests have shown it may cause an upset stomach

Pros:

• hard, pointed corners allow for offensive capabilities, especially against eyes & throat
• heavy enough to to use as an effective melee weapon
• light enough to use as an effective thrown weapon

Cons:

• fingerprint residue may be left on the cover
• pages are not ideal for use as fuel for a fire
• resilience decreases exponentially with use as weapon
• you may feel bad after blood of your opponent ruins the beautiful cover
• the smell of the paper is not enough to neutralise smell of items hidden within its pages

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars - a decent discrete, offensive weapon & not a bad story either.