Objectified vs Daiso

In the grudge match of the century, Objectified pits their reviewing skills against Daiso. When an unstoppable force meets several immovable objects at the low, low price of $2.80 who knows what will happen?

Find out here!

Morning Glory's Teddy Bear

Teddy bears; making sleep ergonomically comfortable.

Edwin Lais

Morning Glory is well known for making cute and quirky products, so it is an absolute must that they have their very own Teddy Bear. Now this particular model is relatively large, but not quite sofa sized, making it a suitable size for ergonomic sleep positioning. 

One feature I find particularly important is pillow coverage between both knees. When sleeping side-ways, people can find that their knees clash with each-other, feeling slightly uncomfortable, especially when you're a bony or skinny person like me. This model has an awkward length, only reaching half of it, partially softening the deadly, rock hard bones of the knees.

The width of the bear is of good size, allowing enough length to separate arms from awkwardly knocking with each-other during side-way sleep, as well as not being too big to even hug. The outside material is fairly fluffy, which is somewhat pleasant but can be very annoying to the face, prompting sneezing and an "in-your-face" feeling which is uncomfortable. 

The fluff of the inside is a hard-class fluff, being sturdy but not flexible. This is something of personal preference, so in an objective point of view, hard-fluff is better for people who don't move as much when sleeping. Personally I move a fair amount during both my deep and light sleep, so I find my other personalised soft-fluff teddy bear more suitable. It should also be noted that hard-fluff is recommended (but not restricted for) upward resting, as opposed to the side-way position.

Both the interior and exterior materials are very insulated, allowing fast and consistent warmth through your own body, as well as cool release in the hot summers. Due to the smooth exterior, dust collection isn't too much of a problem, and only needs to be washed once every few months.

Pros: 

• Balanced size
• Warm
• Comfortable
• Ergonomic

Cons: 

• 'Fur' doesn't give much face space
• Slightly short

All in all, I give this Teddy Bear a 4.5/5 - Cute and comfortable sleep assistant.

Crane 6kg Kettlebell

Do you even lift? With this you kinda can!

Montasir Masrur

Cameo of Acer Aspire Notebook

It has a solid grey body, complemented with dark purple panels, with a circular sign on the middle. Sounds like a superhero costume? but rather its a pieces of exercise equipment - the kettlebell. Weighing as much as a really fat baby the primary function of the kettlebell is to act as a doorstop for heavy doors or automatically closing doors

As a secondary function, the kettlebell can be swung with great effect against an opponent, delivering enough force capable of breaking bones, giving concussions, getting the wind knocked out of .... to give you the edge in a fight to finish them off. It can also be dropped from some height onto a target (ex's car, ex's head) with relative accuracy due to its streamlined build being unaffected by wind speed & direction.

Totally not my ankles.

A seemingly hidden potential of this item is its use as a foot massage. Speaking from experience, I have used this kettleback to great effect in relaxation after a long day of sitting down & internetting to message my feet with it's smooth, rounded handle. It helps massage the soreness in your foot & even other parts of your body away.

Its final function is as the less known, less used exercise tool. It is perfect for the beginner, weighing 6kg which unless you're a sissy shouldn't be too hard. The handle has an excellent grip to hold on to while exercising, unless your palms get really sweaty & slippery in which case it might slip through your fingers & crush your feet.

Pros:

• heavy enough to use as an effective melee weapon
• gives an excuse to flex your muscles
• slight chance this may lead to a healthier life style...a very slight chance
• the design is aesthetically pleasing
• dropping it on your foot will hurt enough so that you won't stay conscious to feel the pain.
• injury from its use may be used to gain sympathy from opposite sex, or even same sex

Cons:

• not light enough to use as an effective thrown weapon
• use of equipment will cause muscles in arm to contract
• use of equipment will force you to expend energy

Rating: 3.666 out of 5 stars - a relatively good excuse for an exercise equipment

Go Green or Go Home

Painted Frog Bank

Morgan Ho

As Benjamin Franklin once said; "A penny saved is a penny earned" and we can all attest to the necessity of being smart with money.... Unless something comes out that piques our interest. Something like the painted frog (piggy) bank as seen in the picture below perhaps (featuring the wooden puzzle cube!!) Yet the quandary is "How can save money to spend when I have nowhere to store it?"

Front-on view

Look no further friends as the answer to one of life's greatest questions is answered with frog-shaped ease! With a wide smile and unblinking eyes this cornerstone of a any financially burdened individual invites you to clink coin after coin in. The bank is a durable wood of solid weight featuring a solid paint and etching job. The bank also allows for note storage albeit at the cost of them looking like used tissues when extracted.

Bottom view

The bank utilizes a rubber plug to keep all of your money safe and sound. This plug can be easily (but not too easily) removed if a situation arises. Unfortunately if you wish to physically 'break the bank' you'll have a harder time than most which is a testament to the structural integrity. Using this frog shaped item will protect your investments from cyber theft attempts at no added cost to you. Similarly, a stable and guaranteed  interest rate of 0.00% p.a. is available for investors! As an added bonus if you desire to 'make it rain' the bank will be fine since frogs don't mind being wet.

Pros

•  Well constructed & designed
• Frogs are more indie
• Always smiling
• You've learnt from the Global Financial Crsis

Cons

• Note storage isn't space efficient
• Liable to physical theft

Overall Rating: 4/5 Stars, worth the cash splash

Smoke Alarm: Better than being on fire

Smoke Alarm: Better than being on fire

How often has this happened to you: You’re going about your day peacefully before BAM! Fire.


Ok maybe that doesn’t happen too often, but can you imagine if it did? That would be terrible. That’s why you need a fire alarm. Not only are they a cool thing to look at, all round with a cool little green light on them, they’re also legally mandatory. That's right, since 2006 you must have a connected smoke alarm in your house.



Pros:
- Could save your life
- Look pretty cool with their little green light
- Space Saving
- Comply with legal regulations



Cons:
- Beeps incessently when needs new batteries

- Beeps incessently when there is smoke around

- If not correctly attached can fall of roof and bonk you on the head

Rating: 2/5 Functional more than fun 

The Stemless Wineglass

To Stem or not to Stem?

Ryan White

The Stemless Wineglass.

Folks, I’m not going to lie – I enjoy my wine.

I enjoy wine as an experience, an experience of accompaniment. My wine is usually enjoyed with accompanying food, accompanying entertainment, accompanying… company. 

However what is almost always forgotten is the object the wine is ALWAYS accompanied by, the wineglass. (Excluding goon, but goon doesn't count.)

 

The wineglass is the apparatus which holds the wine in place; it is the most important accessory to the enjoyment of wine, as without it the wine would most likely end up as a puddle on the floor once out of the bottle. Yet it is usually not even an after thought of the whole experience. Unless of course, you happen to be a wineglass company.

The wineglass has traditionally been composed of 3 components: the bowl, the stem and the foot. An innovation in 2004 by the Austrian glassware giant Riendel was to do away with do away with the foot and more importantly, the stem. The resulting product from this innovation was the stemless wineglass (the first of which being the Riendel "O" Series).

The Stemless wineglass next to its traditional counterpart.

The stemless wineglass is fashionable there is no doubting that, with its sleek design and its renegade approach to the requirements for holding wine. The question then however, is what does it really contribute to the whole experience of wine drinking? The most important component of the wineglass, the bowl, with its wide body is designed to increase the rate of oxidation once the drink is poured. This is in order for the oxygen to open up the wine to the aromas and flavours lying dorment, while the wine is in the bottle (and oxygen deprived). Both stemless and traditional wineglasses have wide bodies, so this leads yours truly to believe there is nothing new to the experience of wine drinking with a stemless glass in this regard.

The foot is obviously to keep the wineglass steady, due to the presence of the stem, so naturally there is no need for a foot on a stemless wineglass. This leads to the stem itself, the defining component that the stemless wineglass is... lacking. 

There are several points that can be made here. Anyone who has used a traditional wineglass can attest to the fact that they are absolute spill-magnets. Someone telling a story, making hand gestures or just being plain clumsy with a full, traditional wineglass in close proximity is the perfect recipe for impossibly tough stains and disgruntled hosts. 

 

Source: Manon Wethly

With the stemless wineglass there is an element of rigidity that was not present before, as the glass's height is halved and its most unbalanced component is removed. 

However, this removal is a double-edged sword. One of the purposes for the stem is that it gives the user a component of the glass to hold that is not in contact with the wine. This helps regulate the temperature of the wine, as the user's body heat is not as easily transferred to the wine itself when held by the stem. Without the stem, the stemless wineglass allows the wine to get much warmer more quickly. Arguably a flaw which takes away from the experience.

Finally, it should not be forgotten that the manner in which a wineglass is held allows for the user to show off their ability to be a smug wine drinker. Does the removal of the stem take away from this ability? You be the judge:

Smug?

  

 

Smug.

Pros:

• Fashionable
• Is much sturdier and rigid than its counterpart

Cons:

• The removal of the stem has disadvantages including decreased heat regulation and decreased smugness (although the latter may be considered a pro depending on your personality, in which case add another star.)

Rating: 3 out of 5 Stars

Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows (book)

Critically acclaimed modern literature or potential murder weapon?

Montasir Masrur

Published in 2007, the seventh & final book in a series of novels was one that captured the hearts of millions & is widely recognised as one of the best books of all time. This particular version is published by Bloomsbury as a hardcover, with a beautiful cover showing the the awesome threesome positioned in ways that make them appear significantly more moronic than they appear in any other media.

But this recognition isn't merely for its excellent plot, but of its hidden potential that most may seem to overlook. This is the potential as an offensive/defensive blunt weapon as a result of the books weight combined with the hard, pointed corners. When used properly this can this can easily used to down an opponent larger than yourself. Experiments conducted by DARPA & the CIA has resulted in the discovery suggesting that the pointed corners are especially effective against soft tissues around the face, the eyes, groin (mainly in the case of males) & can be used against the throat with lethal effect. One downside is the damage the book takes as a result of continued use which eventually renders it useless.

The book can serve as a discrete storage  The pages can be easily cut out with an X-ACTO knife in the shape of whatever that needs to be hidden for example wad of emergency cash, sack of 'medical' marijuana, a gun, a second mobile phone & more. However, with items with distinct odors (eg 'brownies'), the natural smell of the book is not enough to neutralise the smell & thus additional precautions must be taken.

The pages are multifunctional with their functions exceeding that of merely acting a medium through which reading can be done. Once torn out, they can serve as quality rolling paper used to create blunts. This paper is not recommended for use as fuel for a fire due to the speed in which they burn. Surprisingly they are fairly absorbent capable of wiping away most liquids with relative ease (eg blood). When it comes to nose blowing they can be very irritating, due to their roughness. The paper in this book is not compatible with the needs of compulsive paper eaters, as tests have shown it may cause an upset stomach

Pros:

• hard, pointed corners allow for offensive capabilities, especially against eyes & throat
• heavy enough to to use as an effective melee weapon
• light enough to use as an effective thrown weapon

Cons:

• fingerprint residue may be left on the cover
• pages are not ideal for use as fuel for a fire
• resilience decreases exponentially with use as weapon
• you may feel bad after blood of your opponent ruins the beautiful cover
• the smell of the paper is not enough to neutralise smell of items hidden within its pages

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars - a decent discrete, offensive weapon & not a bad story either.